During my time as a behavior therapist, I identified four characteristics of children who grew to become successful adults. The children (1) looked at learning as a process, (2) they were goal oriented, (3) they were focused, and most importantly, (4) they learned to earn privileges rather than expect privileges. The concept of learning to earn privileges is best taught during the critical stages of learning, ages seven through sixteen. In this stage of learning, children must become able to do some things well such as: read, write, calculate, and perform household chores. These are normal life skills. Yet, in our society where the individual is often catered to, the positive ethic of contribution is not always learned. The negative ethic of instant gratification and entitlement are becoming more the norm. It is through a child’s contribution to home, to school, and to a social group, that children gain a positive sense of self. Giving into instant gratification and allowing an entitlement attitude can damage a child’s self esteem.

Sincerely,

Dr. Jeffery Bruns, PhD